Hi Ms. Liz,
Please help me find errors so that I could fix my mistakes by myself.
Thank you very much.
Task 2: In many parts of the world, children are under great academic pressure from parents. What are the causes and the role of parents in educating children?
In many countries around the world, parents have a propensity to put heavy academic pressure on their children. This once emphasizes the important role of parents in bringing up them and the underlying reasons behind this problem are worth of consideration.
To begin with, there are some reasons explaining why children are having that great strain. First and foremost, most parents want their offspring to fulfill their expectations such as good qualifications or to be on top of many academic papers and standardized examinations and tests. As a result, children are forced to study so many subjects at school. Specifically, after they finish their study time in class, due to the fact that they would tend to spend the rest of time playing outdoor or indoor activities or even video games, which contributes to them ignoring their homework, parents send them to crammers or extra classes with the expectations of helping them to concentrate on their studies. Additionally, owing to studying almost a day, children are hoped to top of their classes so that they could have some excellent certificates after graduation, which helps them have good occupations following to parents’ beliefs.
Therefore, we cannot deny the greatly significant role of parents in educating children. They ought to orient children to choose an appropriate path for their life. To be more particular, parents need to show them severe consequences of crimes and anti-social behaviors so that their offspring could be clearly conscious and avoid doing bad works. Furthermore, parents also should set good examples for children via good manners in life such as in communication with people or active lifestyle. Thanks to this, children could mimic them to become a helpful individual. Finally, children have rights to do whatever they enjoy and parents have to assist them to pursue their passions or interests if the things they do are beneficial and not influential in the sense of community.
In conclusion, there are some principal causes contributing to children’s pressure and the vital role of parents need to be extremely taken into consideration to ease that problem.
Youth Crime Essay
This sample IELTS writing is on the subject of youth crime.
In this essay, you are presented with an issue and asked to discuss the 'reasons' why it is occuring and suggest 'solutions'.
Crime is a topic that sometimes arises in IELTS essays and in speaking questions.
Be careful to identify what kind of crime is being referred to - this is specifically youth crime.
You need to give some reasons that it is happening and then give some solutions.
IELTS Sample Writing
Sample IELTS Writing - Model Answer
Over the last few decades, many cities around the world have seen alarming increases in the levels of youth crime. This essay will discuss the reasons for this and provide some possible solutions.
The first reason is connected with the family. In order for a child to grow up in a balanced way, it is very important that he or she is nurtured well by his or her parents. However, these days, it is often the case that children are neglected. This may be because of the fact that many parents in cities now both have to work so are often not around to give their children support when needed. Another factor is the increasing levels of poverty around the world. We have seen with globalization the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, and this inevitably means that those who are poorer will have to resort to illegal means to get what others have. Of course, this will include the children in the poorer families.
However, there are ways to tackle such problems. Firstly, one of the ways to combat the problem is to have stricter punishments. Although, as discussed above, it can be outside factors that lead to crime, it is still important to have severe punishments to deter teenagers from crime. All too often, because they are young, the courts are too lenient. Parents also have to take more responsibility for their children’s actions. They too should be punished if their children commit crime.
To sum up, several factors have led to increases in youth crime, but measures are available to tackle this problem.
The topic is clearly stated in the general statement of the introduction, and the thesis tells the reader that reasons and solutions will be discussed.
It is organized well, with reasons for youth crime discussed in the first body paragraph and solutions in the next. Each paragraph has two ideas and they are clearly signaled and well supported.
There are some good complex structures (In order for…, often the case that…, means that…,) and some good examples of topic related vocabulary (nurtured…, neglected…, illegal…, severe punishments…, deter…, commit crime…).
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world.
What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.